Border trouble up north...

Border trouble up north...  Reader Simi L. sends this piece along.  I'm pretty sure it's tongue-in-cheek, as the Manitoba Herald was last published in 1877 :)

The Manitoba Herald:

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The recent actions of the Tea Party and the fact Republicans won the Senate are prompting an exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and to agree with Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck.

Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night.
"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Southern Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota . "The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left before I even got a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still got through and Rush annoyed the cows so much that they wouldn't give any milk."

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, and drive them across the border where they are simply left to fend for themselves. "A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a single bottle of imported drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley Cabernet, though." When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR races.

In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half- dozen young vegans in powdered wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the '50s. "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious about their age," an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and are renting all the Michael Moore movies. "I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors does one country need?"

In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice President Biden met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals. A source close to President Obama said, "We're going to have some Paul McCartney and Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. We might even put some endangered species on postage stamps. The President is determined to reach out."

Sounds plausible, doesn't it?

Geological map of the asteroid Vesta...

Geological map of the asteroid Vesta...  From data collected by the Dawn robotic explorer...

IC 410: the Tadpole Nebula...

IC 410: the Tadpole Nebula...  Via APOD, of course.  This is a false-color image from infrared imaging collected by WISE.  Full resolution version...

Dogs: data vs. popularity...

Dogs: data vs. popularity...  Dog owners are irrationally attached to their favorite breeds, and we're no exception: we love our Field Spaniels, a breed that very few people in the U.S. have ever even heard of, much less seen.  The chart at right (more detail here) attempts to visualize the popularity of dog breeds versus an objective assessment of the reasons why a breed might be popular.  We could debate the parameters they chose until the cows come home, but give the authors this: it's a reasonable stab at it.  Furthermore, the chart passes the sniff test – some of the breeds in the upper left (the “Inexplicably overrated”) clearly belong there, and some of the breeds in the lower right (the “Overlooked treasures”) just as clearly belong there.  Our beloved Field Spaniels are too small a breed to even show up on this chart, but if they did, they'd probably be down in the lower right, alongside the Welsh Springer Spaniels (a close relative).

Wanna start an entertaining fight?  Follow these steps:

1. Gather a number of dog lovers in a room
2. Shut the doors
3. Toss a copy of this chart into the room
4. Run

Farcical...

Farcical...  Bret Stephens in today's Wall Street Journal:

As headlines go, “ Obama Moves Close to Calling Russian Action in Ukraine an Invasion,” from a weekend story in the New York Times , must surely rank among the year’s most revealing. The Obama presidency has long been at odds with the obvious. Once this was called hope.

Now it is generally recognized as farce.

A farce – that's a reasonably accurate portrayal of the entire Obama presidency.  What a damned shame that the first black American president also had to be so ragingly incompetent...

Your feel-good story of the day...

Your feel-good story of the day...  We recently fixed up our old, beat-up RV and gave it to our house cleaner in San Diego – one of the most satisfying things we ever did...

I am no longer concerned about mainland China...

I am no longer concerned about mainland China...  Any culture that could produce the video at right – and have it become wildly popular (over 5 million views at this writing) – is well down the path to doom...

Consequences of ObamaCare, part 945,823...

Consequences of ObamaCare, part 945,823...  Via CoyoteBlog, who describes one consequence to the business he founded and runs:

So, as a result, I am required by law, under harsh financial penalties, to purchase a product that is not available to me.  Had President Obama required that I buy 2 pounds of rocks from Mars, the result would not have been any more unfair.

Repeal it, Republicans!

Remy on GruberGate...

Remy on GruberGate...

Our income tax system is unfair!

Our income tax system is unfair!  The graph at right is taken from this American Enterprise Institute article.  Each column shows the net taxes paid by each quintile (fifth) of income earners.  By net taxes, they mean income taxes less transfers (such as earned income credits, welfare, etc.) from the federal government.

The bottom line is very simple: virtually all net income taxes are paid by Americans in the upper income quintile.

On what planet is that fair?

It's even worse for residents of states with high income taxes (such as California, Massachusetts, New York, etc.) ... in some of those states, virtually all net taxes are paid by the upper decile (tenth)!