The Old Cow...

Via my lovely bride:

DEATH OF THE OLD COW

Suddenly, a cow jumps out into the road, the car hits it full on, and the car comes to a stop.

Nancy, in her usual charming manner, says to the chauffeur, "You get out and check - you were driving."

So the chauffeur gets out, checks, and reports that the animal is dead - but it was old.

"You were driving, so you go and tell the farmer," says Nancy.

Two hours later the chauffeur returns totally plastered, hair ruffled with a big grin on his face.

"My God, what happened to you?" asks Nancy.

The chauffeur replies, "When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of malt whiskey, the wife gave me a slap-up meal and the daughter made love to me."

"What on earth did you say?" asks Nancy.

"I just knocked on the door and when it opened I said to them, "I'm Nancy Pelosi's chauffeur, and I've just killed the old cow."