Swedish Goose Hunting Story...

Via my mom.  Yes, I grew up in this sort of home...

Ole was hunting geese up in the Varden Lake region of Sweden. He leaned the old 16 gauge against the corner of the blind to take a leak. As luck would have it, his foolish dog Gnarff knocked the gun over. It went off and Ole took most of an ounce of #4 in the groin.

Several hours later, lying in a Stockholm hospital bed, he came to...and there was his doctor, Sven.

"Vell Ole, I got some good news and some bad news. Da good news is dat you are going to be OK. Da damage vas local to your groin, dere was very little internal damage, and I vas able to remove all of da buckshot."

"What's the bad news?", asks Ole.

"The bad news is dat dere vas some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your pecker. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister, Lena."

"Well, I guess that isn't too bad," says Ole. "Is your sister a plastic surgeon?"

"Not exactly," Sven says. "She's a flute player in da Swedish Symphony Orchestra. She's going to teach you vhere to put your fingers, so you don't piss in your eye."