Sunday, December 23, 2012

Scary...

These days when we have a candidate for a position at work, it's pretty much routine to a search on sites like LinkedIn and Facebook, as well as just a general web search.  Reasonably often something quite, er, compromising will show up – anything from diatribes about their current employer to NSFW photos.  You have to wonder what on earth was going on in the candidate's mind when they put that sort of stuff out there for public scrutiny.

This is a very logical extrapolation of what might be possible with such info:

Just Awful...

These really bad puns are courtesy of reader Simi L., who says “These are so bad I just had to send them...”
  • The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
  • I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
  • She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
  • A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
  • No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
  • A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
  • A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
  • Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
  • A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
  • Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
  • Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  • Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
  • I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
  • A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
  • The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
  • The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
  • A backward poet writes inverse.
  • In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
  • When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
  • If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.
I thought some of those were actually pretty good :)