Snotty Receptionist...

Another geezer joke from my mom:

Yesterday I had an appointment to see the urologist for a prostate exam. Of course I was a bit on edge because all my friends have either gone under the knife or had those pellets implanted...

The waiting room was filled with patients. As I approached the receptionist's desk, I noticed that the receptionist was a large, unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler.

I gave her my name.

In a very loud voice, the receptionist said,

"YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?"

All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at me, a now very embarrassed man. But, as usual, I recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied,

'NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT...I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS."

The room erupted in applause!

Do not mess with old retired guys...

What's in the Box?

Via my mom.  Since my 60th birthday recently, she seems to have become an endless source of geezer jokes  :-)

A little old lady went to the grocery store to buy cat food. She picked up four cans and took them to the check out counter.

The girl at the cash register said, "I'm sorry, but we cannot sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of old people buy cat food to eat, and the management wants proof that you are buying the cat food for your cat."

The little old lady went home, picked up her cat and brought it back to the store.
They sold her the cat food.

The next day, she tried to buy two cans of dog food. Again the cashier said "I'm sorry, but we cannot sell you dog food without proof that you have a dog. A lot of old people buy dog food to eat, but the management wants proof that you are buying the dog food for your dog."

So she went home and brought in her dog. She then was able to buy the dog food.

The next day she brought in a box with a hole in the lid. The little old lady asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole. The cashier said, "No, you might have a snake in there."

The little old lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would harm her. So the cashier put her finger into the box and quickly pulled it out. She said to the little old lady, "That smells like sh**."

The little old lady said, "It is. I want to buy three rolls of toilet paper."

Don't mess with old people!