We slept in until 4 am this morning, so I didn't get the dogs outside until the sky was starting to lighten in the east. As we walked down the driveway, the moon was high and to the right behind us, and to the right and in front of us was Jupiter (up high) and Venus (a bit below and to the right of it). Between the impending dawn and the bright moon, the rest of the stars were pretty much washed out.
The dogs didn't care about any of this, of course. They were intent on reading their “pee-mail”, which apparently contained some exciting news...
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Quantum Rhetoric...
Iowahawk is back with another satirical take on Washington. The lead:
WASHINGTON DC - Jubilant scientists at the DNC's High Speed Word Collider (HSWC) announced today they have conclusively disproven the existence of Roberts' Taxon, the theoretical radioactive Facton particle that some had worried would lead to the implosion of the entire Universal Health Care System.But do go read the whole thing...
"I think it's time to pop the champagne corks," said HSWC Director David Plouffe. "Then blaze some choom."
The landmark experiment in Quantum Rhetoric began early this week after legal particle cosmologist John Roberts published a paper in the Quarterly Journal of Tortured Logic that solved the long-debated Pelosi's Paradox in Universal Health Care Theory.
Free USGS Topo Maps...
You can now download free electronic versions of the standard USGS topographical maps, the ones that are familiar to any serious hiker, four-wheeler, hunter, etc. In many ways these electronic versions are superior to the paper version: you can magnify them to any level (they're vector-based, not rasterized), and they have layers that can be switched on and off. Furthermore, the few that I've tried include photographic coverage (also in a switchable layer) – not satellite photos, but aerial photos of quite high resolution. Nice!
What Happened?
Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age?
Old Lady: I am 94 years old.
Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?
Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.
Defense Attorney: Did you know him?
Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly.
Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?
Old Lady: He started to rub my thigh.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?
Old Lady: No, I didn't stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.
Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Old Lady: He began to rub all over of my body.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?
Old Lady: No, I did not stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Old Lady: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!
Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Old Lady: Well, by then, I was feeling so "spicy" that I just laid down and told him 'Take me, young man. Take me now! '
Defense Attorney: Did he take you?
Old Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!" And that's when I shot him, the little bastard.
How Do You...
Via my lovely bride:
Q: How do you tell a Romney voter from an Obama voter?I'm afraid there's more than a little truth in this...
A: Romney supporters sign their checks on the front; Obama supporters sign 'em on the back.