Francohumor...

Via reader Jim M.:

France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes.'
– Mark Twain

I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me.
– General George S. Patton

Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion.
– Norman Schwartzkopf

We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it.
– Marge Simpson

The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee.
– Regis Philbin

The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag.
– David Letterman

War without France would be like ... World War II.
– unknown

The favorite bumper sticker in Washington D.C.right now is one that says 'First Iraq , then France .'
– Tom Brokaw

What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?
– Dennis Miller

It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us.
– Alan Kent

Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day – the description was, 'Never fired. Dropped once.'
– Rep. Roy Blunt, MO

The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found truffles in Iraq.
– Dennis Miller

Q. What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered the city in WWII?
A. Table for 100,000 m'sieur?

Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris ? It's not known, it's never been tried.
– Rep. R. Blount, MO

Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII? And that's because it was raining.
– John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv

French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney
(AP), Paris , March 5, 2003  The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists.

The French Army's brand new tank has 15 gears in reverse (including overdrive) - and one forward gear (just in case they're attacked from the rear).