Thursday, November 15, 2007
Mike D. passes these along. I was able to verify the first one (via the indispensable Snopes); the other two I'm not sure of:When in England at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of 'empire building' by George Bush.
He answered by saying, "Over the years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return."
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Then there was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break one of the French engineers came back into the room saying "Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intend to do, bomb them?"
A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: "Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen
helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck. We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?"
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A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S., English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, 'whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English.' He then asked, 'Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?'
Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied 'Maybe it's because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German.
That last story strikes home a bit for me. I've traveled a little bit in France, on weekends wrested from business trips. Being the odd sort that I am, I spent almost no time in the famous places (especially Paris!); instead, I drove about all over the countryside. Except for one locale, the attitude displayed by the French admiral in that story was completely consistent with what I ran into. Most of my interactions with the French, even in the countryside, were markedly less friendly than many other places that I've traveled.
Except for Normandy, that is. There I met quite a few people who still remember – and appreciate – what the Allies did on D-Day and afterward. Several times while visiting graveyards or monuments, locals approached me, asked if I was American, and then (upon getting a “yes”) engaged me in pleasant conversation. The older folks were happy to share their memories. I'm not sure what happened to make the rest of France generally so snooty, but whatever it is seems to have passed Normandy by…
Peggy Noonan's column from last week compares Hillary Clinton and Margaret Thatcher. You won't be surprised which of them comes out on top in her estimation, but her observations, as always, are well worth reading. Here's her lead:
The story as I was told it is that in the early years of her prime ministership, Margaret Thatcher held a meeting with her aides and staff, all of whom were dominated by her, even awed. When it was over she invited her cabinet chiefs to join her at dinner in a nearby restaurant. They went, arrayed themselves around the table, jockeyed for her attention. A young waiter came and asked if they'd like to hear the specials.
Mrs. Thatcher said, "I will have beef."
Yes, said the waiter. "And the vegetables?"
"They will have beef too."
No matter how I twist my brain, I can't imagine that story working with Hillary substituted for the formidable Mrs. Thatcher…
Hillary Clinton, on Governor Elliot Spitzer's plan to give New York driver's licenses to illegal aliens in the Empire State:
“I didn’t say he shouldn’t do it, nor that he should,” said Sen. Clinton, “I only said I recognize that whatever he does I can understand because George Bush makes us all do irrational things.”
She didn't really say that, but Scott Ott (of Scrappleface) has done his usual wonderful parody. In this case, he's reduced days and paragraphs of flip-flopping, triangulating, obfuscating, and mealy-mouthing to just a few words that sound exactly like her…
Simi L. passes along this story (warning: put your coffee down first):A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?"
The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then, ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that."
So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"
The mother replied, "Of course, I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great university!"
The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"
The girl replied, "Oh good heavens! I LOVE Brad Pitt and I would sleep with him in a heartbeat. Are you nuts?"
The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"
"Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million bucks would buy?"
The boy pondered the answers for awhile and then went back to his dad. His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'"?
The boy replied: "Yes. 'Potentially' you and I are sitting on three million dollars, but 'realistically,' we're living with two hookers and a future congressman."
That has just enough truth about the state of our Congress to be really funny. But sad, too, if you think about it…
