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A friend’s email brought a smile this morning, as I read through these examples of the wit and wisdom of Will Rogers. Here are some of his most famous one-liners, often used in the context of his trademark razor-sharp political commentary:

Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman…neither works.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket.

There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

If you’re riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier’n puttin' it back.

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you’re full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

And here’s Will on the subject of aging:

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know “why” I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of algebra.

You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

I don’t know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it’s called golf.

If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you are old.

Thanks, Will. The world still needs someone like you…

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

From a story in the San Diego Union-Buffoon, which, per their normal practice, doesn’t involve any actual investigation — just 'reporting' in the most literal sense:

Walter Rosales and Karen Toggery, who have lifelong blood ties to the village but are not officially enrolled, argued that the Jamul tribe has been hijacked by officers and members wrongly recognized by the U.S. Bureau of Indian Affairs. The two contend they are the tribe’s rightful leaders, one of several claims they have pursued in a series of unsuccessful suits dating back to the mid-1990s.

Southern California Intertribal Court Judge Anthony Brandenburg, sitting as a circuit judge in the first hearing of the Jamul Indian Village Tribal Court, rejected the plaintiffs' argument that the court lacked jurisdiction to serve as a legal forum for the eviction proceedings.

This is both the bad news and the ugly news. It’s bad (from my perspective, and that of many of my fellow Jamulians) because it means that the casino we don’t want to see built has one less obstacle to overcome. It’s ugly because this intra-tribal fight has turned into a full-blown, very public battle pitting two members of this tiny tribe against the other 30 or so members who support building the casino. It’s difficult for an outsider to imagine what this must feel like, on either side. But it can’t be pleasant for anyone…

Rosales and Toggery contend that land grading and casino construction would desecrate the tiny Jamul reservation, where funerary objects of their family members have been burned and buried near their homes as part of Kumeyaay Indian rituals.

The two cite such objections in an injunction lawsuit against the California Native American Heritage Commission that was filed last month in county Superior Court. They succeeded yesterday in getting a Superior Court order halting crews from dismantling the reservation’s meeting hall until a hearing on their injunction motion takes place March 19.

There’s the good news: one obstacle to the casino has at least gained the standing to be heard before the court, and the building work is, at the very least, delayed until the hearing date in March.