Cat Humor

These are funny to anyone, but probably most of all to anyone who is owned by a cat (or eight of them, like us):

"Managing senior programmers is like herding cats.” — Dave Platt

"Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer.” — Bruce Graham

"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.” — Unknown

"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.” — Anonymous

"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.” — Jeff Valdez

"In a cat’s eye, all things belong to cats.” — English proverb

"As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.” — Ellen Perry Berkeley

"One cat just leads to another.” — Ernest Hemingway

"Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.” — Mary Bly

"Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.” — Joseph Wood Krutch

"People that hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life.” — Faith Resnick

"There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats.” — Anonymous

"I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior.” — Hippolyte Taine

"No heaven will not ever Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to welcome me.” — Unknown

"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.” — Albert Schweitzer

"The cat has too much spirit to have no heart.” — Ernest Menaul

"Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.” — Anonymous

"Time spent with cats is never wasted.” — Colette

"Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well.” — Missy Dizick

"You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats.” — Colonial American proverb

"Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want.” — Joseph Wood Krutch

"I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.” — Anonymous

"My husband said it was him or the cat … I miss him sometimes.” — Anonymous

"Cats aren’t clean, they’re just covered with cat spit.” — Anonymous