Slight Misunderstanding

Tip o’the hat to my mom:

It was just announced that Abu Musab al Zarqawi was killed in Iraq by American forces, as most people already know…

George Washington met him at the Pearly Gates. He slapped him across the face and yelled, “How dare you fight against the nation I helped conceive!"

Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and shouted, “You wanted to end our liberties but you failed!"

James Madison followed, kicked him in the groin and said, “This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!"

Thomas Jefferson was next, beat Zarqawi with a long cane and snarled, “It was evil men like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of Independence."

The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James Monroe and 66 other early Americans unleashed their anger on the terrorist leader.

Zarqawi lay bleeding and in pain, an Angel appeared. Zarqawi wept and said, “This is not what you promised me."

The Angel replied, “I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you in Heaven. What did you think I said?"

That’s my kind of angel!

Somhow I think the editorial staff at the New York Times would have trouble understanding this…

Thing Things

Tip o’the hat to JimM:

THREE THINGS TO THINK ABOUT:

COWS: Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington and they tracked her calves to their stalls? But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give them all a cow.

THE CONSTITUTION: They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don’t we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it’s worked for over 200 years and we’re not using it anymore.

TEN COMMANDMENTS: The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse…you cannot post “Thou Shalt Not Steal,” “Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery” and “Thou Shall Not Lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians — it creates a hostile work environment.