Performance evaluations

"Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."

"His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity"

"I would not allow this employee to breed"

"This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be"

"Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap"

"When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet"

"He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle"

"This young lady has delusions of adequacy"

"He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them"

"This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

"This employee should go far, and the sooner the better"

"Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together"

"A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus"

"He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless"

"He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier"

"I would like to go hunting with him sometime"

"He's been working with glue too much"

"He would argue with a signpost"

"He has knack for making strangers immediately"

"He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room"

"When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell"

"If you see 2 people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one"

"A photographic memory but with the cap over the lens"

"A prime candidate for natural deselection"

"Donated his brain to science before he was done using it"

"Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming"

"Has 2 brains, one is lost, the other is out looking for it"

"If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week"

"If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change"

"If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean"

"It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000 other sperm"

"One neuron short of a synapse"

"Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled"

"Takes him 12 hours to watch 60 Minutes"

"The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead"

What wonderful things!

The pro-Syrian Lebanese government resigns. Israel traces the recent Tel Aviv bombing back to Syrian operatives (or Islamic Jihad, operating out of Syria). Mubarak in Egypt suddenly — after over 20 years — declares that true, open, free multi-party elections will be held. What on earth is going on?

I can only think of one plausible explanation: President Bush's policy of fomenting democracies is working...big time!

Are nukes the worst?

Hearing the news about the suicide bomber in Iraq who killed 100+ people and injured 100+ more got me to thinking... What's worse? Nuclear weapons in Iran, or this "asymmetrical warfare" that's taking such a terrible toll?

While the instantaneous effects of a nuke are clearly worse (tens or hundreds of thousands of people killed), the insidious effects of asymmetrical warfare — if it's successful — might be a larger problem than nukes in the long run. After all, if some rogue country (take your pick) actually decided to use a nuke, I'm pretty sure that that would be the last significant action of whatever government employed (or supported) that action. The world would be shocked into taking concerted action, and they wouldn't be dilly-dallying about. With terrorism (the unfancy name for asymmetrical warfare), this obviously ain't so. The effects keep on going and going and going. It's bad enough for us to read about it, or to see video clips — but try to imagine what it must be like to actually live in the midst of this, day after day. It must be extraordinarily disheartening...which makes me admire the spirit of everyday Iraqi even more. Despite the well-known fact that the terrorists are targeting the government job recruiting centers, and especially those in Shiite areas...the people still keep lining up for those jobs.

Quote for the day

Anyone who stops learning is old, whether twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning today is young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young.

   Henry Ford