Ponder Power

Jimmy Valentine is the Producer of the Roger Hedgecock Show (the only radio talk show you'll find me listening to regularly), where he's described this way:

Jimmy writes the Flash Fax daily, hangs around the Team Hedgecock office when he is not outside smoking. He barely graduated from high school and has no degree whatsoever. But for an old guy he's a little cute and often quite playful. He is mostly harmless and unproductive...he yearns for a permanent position in gummint where the wage and pension is great and the workload is light.

The "Flash Fax" mentioned above is an appoximately daily email that Jimmy writes. It's always interesting, often informative and insightful, sometimes inspiring, and occasionally hurt-your-belly funny. An example from today's edition illustrates at least some of the preceding claims:

THE POWER OF THE PONDER… not sure exactly where I picked up the power, most likely in Texas. We did several TV shows via satellite out in the Big Bend area back in the mid-80s and that area tends to be kinda mystic. I think it just come on me. I am not sure it’s a gift but it does strike often and just automatically re-sorts all the stuff in my head so that it makes better sense. A lot of dots connect in sudden fashion. I guess it’s like defragging your computer. And it seems to thrive out here in Dehesa Valley for some reason.

The Ponder can strike near anytime but it mostly happens during shaving in the morning or after the first Jack of an evening. Mind is wandering and suddenly “pop,” you set to pondering. You can’t turn it on and off, it happens.

It’s the Ponder that tells me that bankruptcy is the best and fastest way for SD City to resolve it’s financial crisis. I can’t vote there but the Ponder doesn’t abide by jurisdiction.

It’s the Ponder that tells me that it will be a good thing if Katrina victims sue local, state and federal gummints for not protecting them and demanding a 911 fund. And win. Cause we fire folks left over from the 2003 Wildfire Debacle are trying to class act a suit against the numbskulls that couldn’t quit the fire up in Ramona. So far court is saying you can’t sue the gummint. The Ponder sez that Jesse Jackson and his group will lead a court suit and a judge will bark when told to by Jesse and the gang. That’ll set court precedent and pave our way.

It’s the Ponder that tells me that if you are in favor of abortion then you are in favor of killing children and that is how it should be stated. Not, “I’m pro-choice,” but “I’m for killing kids.” And folks who have had abortions ought to be up front about it and proclaim, “I killed my baby,” and be proud in public.

It’s the Ponder that tells me that if you are opposed to big gas guzzling vehicles, you should ride the trolley, ride a bike to work or walk. And if you do drive you had better have 18 other folks in the car with you.

We’ve noted the Ponder many times in the flash over the years. The above examples are likely lousy but I hadda face the Ponder today and let it know that I know it exists…and that I ain’t scared of it……. tho I am awed. it’s a good power, tho sometimes I kinda wish I was able to see thru womens clothing instead.

I subscribe to quite a few email newsletters; this is one of them that I look forward to every day.

I've never met Jimmy Valentine, but he's nearly a neighbor of mine. He lives in Dehesa Valley, which is one ridge away from Lawson Valley, where my home is. Unlike me, Jimmy lost his home in the Cedar Fire of 2003 — we were just one ridge away from the same fate.

You can (and should!) subscribe to the FlashFax yourself (scroll all the way down), or you can peruse the FlashFax archives. Personally, I think Jimmy would make a great blogger; maybe we can talk him into it one of these fine days...